Neither Here Nor There (From St Albans & Harpenden Review)

Neither Here Nor There

12:47am Monday 23rd March 2009 in

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When I return ‘home’ for a weekend from university, I increasingly find myself asking the question, ‘Where do I belong?’ Undoubtedly, where I grew up will always be my real home. But what about now when I’m spending six months in Hatfield and the rest of the year in Lowestoft?

When I do return home I listen to my friends fears of redundancy, or to hear that they are going to serve in Afghanistan. With a few exceptions I was the only one to decide to go to university, the others opted to begin there careers straight after sixth-from. Everyone and everything seems to be changing around me, rapidly. Yet I seem to stay the same. It feels as though I’m getting left behind as my friends slowly step into the world.

What am I? Where is my position in society? I’m just a tax dodging student…aren’t I?

Well yeah, I suppose part of me is. But I also have to realise that I’m not getting left behind at all, I’ve just taken a different path. I’m building for my future by furthering my education, whereas they are already building their careers. The end results will (hopefully) be the same.

So is my different path worth it? To put it simply; Yes.

In my eighteen-months at UH I’ve made some of the best friends, and had some of the best experiences of my life, with many more to come over the next twelve months. To me it no longer matters that things feel as though they are changing around me while I stand still, because under the surface I have changed, a lot.

University has made me grow as a person, and to appreciate the little luxuries in life that you may sometimes take for granted. For example, poignantly on mother’s day, one of the best things about going home for me is to get a decent meal (although I like to think I am quite the chef!) by my mum and to have my clothes washed and ironed by someone who actually knows what they are doing.

Despite missing these things I would not swap a moment of my life as a fully fledged student. Admittedly most of my friend’s bank balances look healthier than mine, but I will argue, and they will probably agree, that I’m having the better time. They constantly remind me, ‘You don’t do proper work Ross! Even when you do its unpaid,’ and ‘You’ve got a massive shock coming your way.’ So where do I belong?

Well I suppose the answer to that is I’m in transition. I’m not quite ready to start paying my taxes just yet. Who knows where I will be in the next five years, even two! All I know is that I’m enjoying the path which is taking me there.

Ironically I wrote this on the train from Hatfield to Lowestoft, neither here nor there.