Just as I finish mourning Mistresses, Desperate Housewives is back. Absolute must watch TV and on the Sky Planner.

Shows like Desperate Housewives and Mistresses help put things in perspective. Couples going through familiar issues and the end result. As a divorce solicitor, I am often asked “Is this normal behaviour that I should tolerate or, should I end the marriage?”

Client ‘A’ divorced her husband for finding a companion whilst he was doing a hobby. She found it to be a total breakdown of their relationship because he started to confide in somebody else. She felt excluded and no longer his best friend. They had been married 30+ years.

Client ‘B’ divorced her husband because he was too clingy and did not get out enough. She felt suffocated by his need to always be with her and do the same things. He did not have enough friends or hobbies, he had lost his identity.

Client ‘C’ phones me at least twice yearly to start divorce proceedings but then changes her mind.

The answer is that it depends on your tolerance levels and your expectations of a marriage/life.

Organisations such as Relate can help you identify the key issues and suggest ways in which to deal with them. If you are BOTH committed and want to fix things, you can find a lot of support to help you make the marriage work.

The time to think is when you reach a stage of not wanting to fix things.

Best regards Harjit Sarang

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