There are many things that make us different from other families depending on where we live, religion, culture, appearance, abilities, financial resources etc. Children always have questions about why they are different. This could be about wealth, colour, single parenting, culture or sexual orientation. It is for parents to educate their children in a way that encourages acceptance of many different lifestyles. As a family law solicitor I see many different family situations. Sexual orientation rarely features as a reason for marital disharmony and I have never seen a case where sexual orientation is the reason for poor parenting.

When I registered with my local GP and duly informed her that I was pregnant through an IVF procedure. I was horrified when she said “Have you thought about how you will explain to your children that they were conceived in a petri dish?” As it happens I hadn’t thought about it because I know that I will have no hesitation in explaining proudly to my children that they were conceived through IVF procedures. My youngest will be amazed to know that he was frozen for 18 months! The fact that she raised it as a possible 'issue' offended me. How many of us have asked our parents how we were conceived?

Often I feel that it is not the people who are ‘alternative’ that are the problem. It’s the people who are ‘normal’ who cannot deal with alternatives and differences in society possibly, probably because they have never been in a position where an alternative is the only option. The past two years have seen an increase in awareness of surrogacy in the UK and surrogacy abroad for gay couples. David Furnish and Elton John famously fathered a child following an international surrogacy arrangement; Ricky Martin is father to twin boys via gestational surrogacy and ‘H’ from Steps recently admitted to ‘Psychic Sally’ that surrogacy is something that he and his Partner are now thinking about (she already knew...)  We all have the right to make a commitment to someone and have a family regardless of sexual orientation. How we make that commitment, to whom we make that commitment and how we create a family will differ family to family.

Best regards Harjit Sarang

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