I won't bore you with the latest output saga, you know the score in my bowel transplant world. The only thing I will say is that these anti sickness patches are not working. By the time I went to bed last night I was feeling pretty rough and had to take my injections and ditch the patch. I guess that I will give it another go again in a few days but I need a few days back on my usual meds.

Over the years and after many operations I never really worried about keeping my six pack and how my body looked. Before you ask I actually never had a six pack it was more like 26 pack and I know that I am no George Clooney perhaps closer to Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise. Anyhow like many sufferers my stomach and upper body carries quite a few scars. I have managed to accumulate a few more going through this transplant and with a stoma and feeding tube still in place it isn't the prettiest of sights. Yes I know it could be worse but actually for the first time I have started to feel a little self conscious. I am not actually sure why because I am no Adonis but somehow it does seem to matter. With my daughter being head of the fashion police at home I am used to brushing off comments such as "dad you can't go out wearing that" or "dad not your best haircut" but when it comes to my scars the fashion police have never said anything. In fact the kids are brilliant and don't actually care but I don't know why but it does bother me a bit.

Generally I have been lucky that with the bulk of my surgeries it has almost been as if I had a zip in place as the main scars just seem to replace each other and not add to the patch work quilt. Maybe I am having some sort of mid life paranoia but I can't seem to shake it off. I am very much aware that there are plenty of people who will be worse than me for all sorts of reasons yet somehow for the first time ever I don't really like what I am seeing. Hopefully it is just a passing phase and very soon I will revert back to that care free attitude. Maybe you can buy stick on 6 packs? If anyone knows where to buy them or better still has one I could borrow please shout.

Not only have I started worrying about my physique but my hair is still thinning out and even bizarrely starting to change colour a bit. What is going on, it was a bowel transplant I had not an audition for a realty tv make over show?

Tomorrow I may well be back to the usual transplant issues but tonight I thought I would share with you what is on my mind. Tonight's picture is of sleeping beauty!

Till tomorrow

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