Hi, thank you for the question.

Contact is the right of the child. However, sometimes our children need encouraging to accept what is in their best interests. For example, if he said "Mommy I don't want to go to school", what would you do? You need to assess whether your son is capable of making that decision and why he is making it. Maintaining a relationship with parents is important unless doing so would put you at risk of harm. Not having any contact and ending a relationship is a big decision that will impact on the rest of his life. Explore why the relationship has broken down and if there is any way of repairing it with or without support from parenting organisations.

Your ex has a court order which means that the court has decided that contact is in your son's best interests if only for the interim period. If contact does not take place, you need to explain to the court that your son did not want to attend and the reasons that he gave you, if any. At this point an independent third party (children and families court officer) may be instructed to report to the court what your sons wishes and feeling are (without your son attending court). He/she will try to find out why your son is rejecting father and explore ways to make changes if possible. The older your son is, the easier this will be.

Essentially, if you believe that your son has real concerns and reservations, you need to protect him and ask that the concerns be addressed before contact takes place. Your role is to facilitate contact where it is in your son's best interest to do so.

I suggest at this stage you need to alert father and the court of the situation. Father may be able to address the concerns or, the matter returned to court for the court to investigate and order as appropriate.

If possible, work together to address the issue. Good luck. Best regards Harjit Sarang