Ticket touts bother me to the point where I actually feel violent. You know the type; they hang around tube stations and pace up and down the queue outside the venue shouting “Any tickets for tonight? Buy or sell”

Why the government do nothing to stop these toothless, cousin bothering, immoral, greedy scumbags is beyond me. I can only assume that it’s because touts remind them so much of themselves.

There is nothing like the thrill of live music. Your favourite band, live and in the flesh, diving into your cranium and rattling your ribs is a fantastic feeling. Thousands of sweaty bodies dancing together like crazed banshees, all your mates with you and a couple of overpriced pints of warm beer – lovely! So it’s no surprise that the gig-going population get so upset about ticket touts.

A quick Google search brings up tales of fans who try to buy tickets the instant they go on sale, only to find they’ve sold out, yet appear on Ebay shortly after with 300% mark-ups. How can this be fair? How dare they profit from the fruits of someone else creative ability? How dare they hold tickets ransom? How dare they get in the way of an individual and the simple pleasures in life?

The popularity of the internet has made it even easier for touts too, so not only are they greedy parasites, they are greedy parasites and cowards who don’t have to look their victims in the eye while relieving them of a week’s wages for something that should only cost £20.

Touts are organised gangs of criminals. Make no mistake. If you buy from them, you are funding their criminal activity. Do you think this is their only source of income? Do you think they have real jobs? No.

They are petty crooks and dole-ites who get away with it because people still buy from them and the government do nothing to stop them. For anyone who’s ever complained about touts – don’t buy from them, don’t fund their trade and tells your friends to do the same.

I often hear many counter arguments in favour of these touts and they’re complete nonsense. Here are a couple of them:

They provide a valuable service for people who can’t get tickets.
Well, that’s because touts bought them all. Touts work in gangs and when tickets go on sale, packs of them will call ticket lines at the same time and purposely attempt to crash websites, making it difficult for the genuine fan to get hold of tickets.

People who have spares can sell them more easily.
People who have spares can just as easily sell them at face value to genuine fans on the night, but are generally unable to because touts intimidate and bully people who attempt to attempt to bypass them. They are thugs who will do anything for money. I read a story about a man who had a spare ticket for Iron Maiden a couple of years ago. The tout offered him £5 for it but was selling them on for £100. The man declined to sell and waited around for a genuine fan and then sold it to the genuine fan for £5, only to then be threatened by the tout and his nasty tout mates. Go figure.

It’s easy money.
So is beating a pensioner to within an inch of death and robbing them, but it doesn’t mean you should do it.

We live in a capitalist society – simple economics baby.
Yes, and look where that got us: millions unemployed, record bankruptcies and families losing their homes across the country. Go team capitalism!

It’s not just gigs either. Sporting events, theatre and comedy also suffer this plague. Let’s hope that one day the government does something to save the entertainment industry and that the stupid cash rich, time poor fools stop handing over big wads of cash to these snivelling criminals.